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I’ve been down so low
People look at me and they know
They can tell something is wrong
Like I don’t belong
Staring through a window
Standing outside, they’re just too happy to care tonight
I want to be like them
But I’ll mess it up again

I tripped on my way in
And got kicked outside, everybody saw…

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

Sometimes I feel so full of love
It just comes spilling out
It’s uncomfortable to see
I give it away so easily
But if I had someone I would do anything
I’d never, never, ever let you feel alone
I won’t I won’t leave you, on your own

But who am I to dream?
Dreams are for fools, they let you down…

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

And I wish that I could make it better
I’d give anything for you to call me, or maybe just a little letter
Oh, we could start again

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
But I can’t feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
I can’t feel it right now
I got all the right clothes to wear
I just want to cry now
Well I know that it’s a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you’re here, here with me

And I know that it’s a wonderful world
When you’re with me

As poume oti auto to tragoudi milaei gia mena…akrivws omws..

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Arxizeis na suneiditopoieis nomizw kapoia pragmata,k dn eisai opws prin.kalutera,mporw na antexw mia asximi sumperifora giati,allwste,tin axizw..

dn tha ananewnw toso suxna to blog,afou dn mporeis na to diavazeis….k pali kalutera,kati tetoio dn tha se afine na xexaseis,na proxwriseis..an mporeis vevaia.

simera itan mia periergi mera..na dwseis k esu xairetismata stous dikous sou…tha ta dwseis?oxi..oute egw lpn,dn ginetai etsi..

an isoun edw tha se filousa k tha empaina mes stin agkalia sou..an me afines..

mou leipeis polu…

thelw na sou pw..

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Na isoun to koxuli k na imun to koritsaki..mou thumizei tis nuxtes pou koimomoun mes stin agkalia sou,stin arxi me kapoia piesi,alla argotera toso gluka..dn tha xanakoimithw pote iremi..

skeftomai oti uparxoun pragmata pou thelw na sou pw,pragmata pou tha ta elega an moirazomastan akoma kathe stigmi mas,dn fantazesai poso adeia einai i zwi mou twra pou dn exw na sou existorw pws perasa simera,ti egine,ti mou ekane entupwsi klp.

loipon,thelw na sou pw..

oti koitaga to stylediary k oi fwto mou exoun ftasei ta 100 views,k xarika polu k amesws meta dakrusa gt thumithika poso omorfa eixa perasei tote pou me evgazes fwto k dn thelw na xanavgalw alles pia.

oti diavasa ta simata k tha paw apo vdomada na ta dwsw,s’euxaristw gia to vivlio..ta diavaza k se skeftomoun k thelw na ta perasw ola xwris lathos opws esu,k thelw na sou steilw mnm na sto pw gia na niwseis perifanos estw k ligo k g n xereis oti an dn isoun esu dn tha ta eixa kataferei.

oti anarwtiemai pou eisai(eisai ekei?)…k an eisai ekei uparxei akoma i fwto mou gia fonto,i alli dipla sou k alli akoma pio dipla sou..i tis evgales?isws prepei na tis vgaleis,nai,dn me peirazei,pistevw oti tha itan kalo na min tis exeis konta sou..

oti dn exw ton pinaka ekeino k polu tha ton ithela alla kalutera na min ton oloklirwseis giati lene otan eimaste asxima psuxologika vazoume mounta xrwmata k egw thelw fwteina,opws auta pou sou aresan panta.

oti uparxoun nuxtes pou dn koimamai me tpt,san ti simerini,k pou klaiw k kapnizw…k uparxoun k meres pou dn trww tpt i meres pou trww ta panta.meres pou thelw na se parw tilefwno na akousw gia ligo ti fwni sou alla sugkratiemai giati dn thelw na mas ponaw allo.

oti uparxoun stigmes pou skeftomai i vlepw kati diko mas(opws simera me tous o.c.)k skalwnw,kollaw,menw ekei,na koitaw sto keno,niwthw ti zwi mou opws einai stin pragmatikotita,ena adeio kouti pou kapote itan gemato me anamniseis mas,k twra tpt,tpt.k lew egw to ekana auto k vrizw ton eauto mou.

oti to na paw stin patra auti ti stigmi mou fainetai tragika duskolo,k thelw na allaxw ta sentonia pou eixame koimithei mazi,k na petaxw oti eixa parei ap’to supermarket tote p mou eixes steilei “eisai supermarket k egw s’agapaw” k gnk na svisw kathe mas stigmi.alla meta skeftomai poso xazo einai k oti dn tha kataferw tpt.k meta xanaskeftomai oti eidika stin patra dn tha mporw me TIPOTA na koimithw.

oti stamatisa na kourazomai toso polu swmatika stin douleia alla exakolouthw na variemai aforita.

 oti tha ithela na imoun ekei mazi sou,twra pou koimasai,k na se epairna mia agkalia k na sou elega”ola tha pane kala,tha deis”..alla dn thelw na lew pragmata pou dn ta ennow.mporei ola na pane xalia.

oti to na se skeftomai toso me ponaei para polu wres-wres pou thelw na vrw tropo na stamatisw na aisthanomai..

oti i mama mou me rwtaei an mou leipeis..k otan tis lew nai mou leei logiko,afou k emena mou leipei..

oti kourastika na paristanw ti xaroumeni enw dn eimai.

oti exw kanei mavrous kuklous ap’tin kourasi,to xenuxti,to klama.

oti dn me noiazei omws,giati dn eisai edw gia na me deis..

oti mou exei leipsei o tropos pou milusame…k proxthes eipa stin dimitra”na me les kardoula sou,agapi sou,oti thes,tha kanw polu kairo na ta xanaakousw”..vevaia egw thelw na ta akousw apo sena.

se poion na pw auta pou tha’lega se sena..oute ston idio ton eauto mou dn mporw..dn exw egw diko mou anthrwpo kanena…auta pou tha elega se sena na tou pw…egw pou s’agapaw ma dn se eixa,swpainw edw….

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Autes tis meres dn prolavainw na kanw tpt,trexw sunexeia(gia pou?)k auto me voithaei sto na mi skeftomai…dn xerw an einai kalo alla to exw anagki pros to paron..

m lps..k to xereis.niwthw misi makria sou,kapoies stigmes mou fainetai pragmatika polu duskolo k polu anousio auto pou ginetai,alla eprepe na ginei..akoma dn exeis katalavei giati eginan ola(k toso xafnika),oti k na sou grapsw omws tlk dn perigrafei auta pou aisthanomai.apla xreiazomoun ti fugi auti.

dn xerw an tha epistrepsw,dn xerw an tha me perimeneis tote,dn xerw an tha mporesoume na xanaeimaste mazi opws imastan.ponaei auto vevaia otan to skeftomai.alla panta mazi me tis apofaseis erxontai k oi sunepeies,k egw tin empeiria auti tou xwrismou,oso epwdini k an einai,thelw na tin viwsw swsta.gi’auto k oso k an mou leipeis,oso k an thelw na sou pw oti s’agapaw akoma,dn to kanw..toulaxiston oxi amesa.mesa ap’auto to blog isws na sto pw xiliades fores akoma,alla dn thelw na sou dinw alles elpides.

s’agapaw.isoun k tha eisai o antras tis zwis k twn oneirwn mou.na to thumasai auto.

einai meres pou thelw na petaxw,opws i neraida parapanw,alla dn xerw gia pou k dn xerw an thelw twra pou pia dn exw to xeri sou gia na krataw.

gi’auto menw edw.ston kosmo auto pou xerume k oi duo oti dn mas tairiazei,pote dn mas xwrese,imastan panta polu romantikoi k agapimenoi gia na mas tairiaxei..

kalinuxta xwtiko mu.na prosexeis..

kalinuxta..

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einai arga..k egw eipa polla..einai exantlitiko to na mou leipeis toso…tha kleisw me ena poiima,dustuxws oxi ti sonata pou toso se ekana na agapiseis,alla ena allo,me telos alla k me elpida gia mia kainouria arxi otan…..o kairos tha einai katallilos..

Θά πενθώ πάντα — μ’ακούς; — γιά σένα,
μόνος,στόν Παράδεισο

Θά γυρίσει αλλού τίς χαρακιές
Τής παλάμης,η Μοίρα,σάν κλειδούχος
Μιά στιγμή θά συγκατατεθεί ο Καιρός

Πώς αλλιώς,αφού αγαπιούνται οι άνθρωποι

…………………………………………………………………

Επειδή τό αδοκίμαστο καί τό απ’αλλού φερμένο
Δέν τ’αντέχουν οί άνθρωποι κι είναι νωρίς,μ’ακούς
Είναι νωρίς ακόμη μές στόν κόσμο αυτόν αγάπη μου

Να μιλώ γιά σένα καί γιά μένα.
……………………………………………………………………………….

Τό λουλούδι αυτό τής καταιγίδας καί μ’ακούς
Τής αγάπης
Μιά γιά πάντα τό κόψαμε
Καί δέν γίνεται ν’ανθίσει αλλιώς,μ’ακούς
Σ’άλλη γή,σ’άλλο αστέρι,μ’ακούς
Δέν υπάρχει τό χώμα δέν υπάρχει ο αέρας
Πού αγγίξαμε,ο ίδιος,μ’ακούς

Καί κανείς κηπουρός δέν ευτύχησε σ’άλλους καιρούς

Από τόσον χειμώνα κι από τόσους βοριάδες,μ’ακούς
Νά τινάξει λουλούδι,μόνο εμείς,μ’ακούς
Μές στή μέση τής θάλασσας
Από τό μόνο θέλημα τής αγάπης,μ’ακούς
Ανεβάσαμε ολόκληρο νησί,μ’ακούς
Μέ σπηλιές καί μέ κάβους κι ανθισμένους γκρεμούς
Άκου,άκου
Ποιός μιλεί στά νερά καί ποιός κλαίει — ακούς;
Είμ’εγώ πού φωνάζω κι είμ’εγώ πού κλαίω,μ’ακούς
Σ’αγαπώ,σ’αγαπώ,μ’ακούς.

i prwti mas kuriaki..

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tha mporousa na grafw me tis wres..gia ola auta pou zisame..

gia tin prwti mas kuriaki..

irthes,thumamai forouses ena kokkino fouter k eixes ta mallia sou eleuthera,itan akoma makria tote,se koitaza na me plisiazeis k skeftomoun “thee mou einai ontws toso omorfos oso mou fanike proxthes pou ton eida gia prwti fora,mporei k pio polu”..i kardia mou ekane to gnwsto xtupo alla dn tis edwsa simasia..dn ixera tote.

oi wres perasan,pigame gia fagito(ekei pou pote dn tha xanapaw moni mou giati kathe anamnisi tha me kurievei) k itan toso omorfa k as itan toso psuxro k anti-romantiko to meros..

k meta to kaskol..k ena fili opws kanena allo.sto eixa pei,esu me emathes na filaw,na afinomai stin aisthisi,na mi me noiazei tpt mono i stigmi ekeini..

k meta efuges…k ixera oti mporei na argousa na se xanaevlepa,k ixera oti mporei na itan duskola na mou leipeis toso polu alla ithela…na se gnwrisw,na moirastw ti zwi mou pou mexri tote itan toso adiafori k epanalamvanomeni.

…(thumasai?)

gurisa spiti k etrwga ti sokolata pou mou eixes dwsei.dn me endiefere to meta,eixa ena ekpliktiko twra,ixera oti to mellon einai toulaxiston avevaio alla ta sunaisthimata itan ola toso prwtognwra pou axize na parw polla riska…makari na eixa tin idies antoxes,ta idia kotsia k twra.

i prwti agapi dn xexnietai..ta prwta ekeina sunaisthimata dn tha ta xanavrw.kalutera.dn thelw.kanena dn tha valw pio psila,oti k an ginei,akoma k an avrio mou peis oti me miseis.

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elpizw kapoia stigmi na katalaveis giati dn s edwsa exigiseis…dn exw na sou dwsw..apla dn eimai etoimi gia na eimai mazi sou opws thelw na eimai..eixame tin teleia sxesi,k thelw na kratisw auti tin anamnisi,k oxi na tis dwsw ena telos pou dn tis axizei….gia sena edwsa ena “adiko” k isws “geloio” telos,egw omws xerw oti apla dn mporousa na exigisw me logia auta pu eniwtha..

s’agapaw polu k to xereis..

dn eixa tin dunami na se sunantisw,giati dn exw apantisi sto giati.isws apaitw apo esena na me katalaveis,giati kapote diavazes tis skepseis mou prin akoma tis valw se taxi….dn se katigorw gia tpt omws..egw pira tis apofaseis mou k esu opws panta dn mou xalases kanena xatiri.

na prosexeis..

ti thumithika pali..

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kapote petousa mazi sou..twra dn exw ftera..opws autos o piguinos,paraxeni diastrofi pou exw gia auta ta zwa,onomazetai “fairy penguin”..ti eirwneia.

thumasai?ekeino to vradu stin patra pou katevazame tragoudia ap’to grease k to happy feet,k xorevame k gelagame,k kaname proves tis kiniseis mas,me sikwnes psila ston aera k tsantizosoun pou gelaga,k pali xana…sto telos ta kataferame!eniwtha sa mia mikri xoreutria,sa na petaw,epeidi me kratouses esu.mporei na imun geloia alla mazi sou eniwtha mia pragmatiki neraida..

Arage…

rosefairie.jpgArage tha einai ola toso diaforetika sti zwi sou opws einai sti diki mou?

Tha patas tin odontokrema stin akri tis opws sunithiza na kanw k esu gkriniazes?

Tha diplwneis tis sakoules opws me eides tin prwti fora k gelases?

Tha pareis fourno mikrokumatwn k as sou fainotan xasimo xrimatwn?

Tha koimasai panta sti mesa plevra tou krevatiou?

Tha m’agapas?

Suggnwmi gia tin teleutaia erwtisi k mono pou ta grafw auta me kanoun na ponaw,na thelw na gurisw,na thelw na se agkaliasw alla dn mporw.Suggnwmi.

Egw panta tha katevazw to kapaki tis toualetas.

Panta tha se psaxnw ston upno mou gia na se parw agkalia.

Panta tha exw misokleista matia otan xupnaw to prwi.

Panta oneirevomai oti eisai edw.

Dn mporw na sunexisw allo.Einai adunato.Dn vlepw tipota.

S’agapaw k xerw oti k esu m’agapises oso kaneis..

Na prosexeis..kalinuxta xwtikuli mu..

Ligo prin to gkremo…

fairy21.JPGAfisa to xeri sou k niwthw pws tha pesw apo ton gkremo, k xereis poso fovamai ta upsi…pou eisai?Se xreiazomai.

Ematha ta panta gurw sou,eginan tosa polla,xiliades anamniseis,eisitiria,ulika antikeimena,oti k an exw auti ti stigmi gurw mou mou thumizei esena..to kinito mou exei akoma gia fonto emas,ta tsigara mou pou toso ta miseis me suntrofevoun sunexeia autes tis wres,ta tragoudia pou akouw exoun graftei ola gia sena,akoma k auto to apsuxo laptop m thumizei ena allo laptop pou an dn ipirxe dn tha ipirxame emeis…ola se thumizoun.

k na xereis oti oi kuriakes mou tha einai panta dikes sou..opws ekeini i prwti kuriaki pou katalavame oti auto pou psaxname dn itan kati apithano,oti uparxoun anthrwpoi san k emas akrivws,me ta idia oneira,tin idia elleipsi egwismou stis sxeseis,tin idia anagki gia ousiastiki epikoinwnia k oloklirwtiki enwsi…

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