telika…!

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euxaristw polu gia ta comments p mu kanate…xairomai p upirxan atoma p me katalavan..k p mpikan sto kopo na m dwsoun kata kapoio tropo tis sumvoules tous..

alla pio polu euxaristw to xwtiko mu..giati dextike na xanaeimaste mazi..k eimai polu xaroumeni gi’auto..

anagkastika auto to post kleinei!isws anoixw allo p na legetai”ola auta pou sou lew”..xaxa…kati tetoio telos pantwn,gia na perigrafei elpizw euxaristes stigmes opws autes pou eixame panta…:)

happy end lpn(k meta m les oti dn zoume ena paramuthi)..

aa mn xexasw na anaferw tin apantisi p mu edwse i agapi mu,prin 2 meres..itan kati pou egrafe arketo kairo ap’oti m eipe alla egw eixa tin tuxi na ta diavasw tin imera p gurisa,k apofasise na ta dimosieusei..pote den einai arga vevaia!ta sumperasmata dika sas,egw apla ithela na fanei k i alli plevra,gia opoion endiaferetai! pateiste edw an thelete!

sto epanidein!

xxx

k twra?

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Autes oi meres niwthw oti pernoun polu duskola…isws giati vlepw epitelous ti zwi kathara..apo ti mera pou efuga,mia alisida apo ilithia k anousia gegonota exei dimiourgithei mono k mono gia na mou thumizei oti auto einai zwi.xwris noima.

k na pou grafw pali edw.k se pira k tilefwno…k eixa tosi anagki na akousw ti fwni sou,na psaxw pisw apo auta pou eleges an kruvontan ta alla,auta pou mou eleipsan…

pali anavw tsigaro…arage an me gnwrizes twra tha me erwtevosoun?dn nomizw…egw pantws an se gnwriza twra tha se erwtevomoun akoma perissotero..giati twra ezisa ti zwi xwris zwi.twra xerw pws einai to prin k to meta apo esena…k to mono sunaisthima axio logou oli auti tin periodo einai ena.ponos.

tis nuxtes gia na koimithw iremi skeftomai oti erxomai ekei..oti eisai k pali dikos mou(egw,an dn to xereis idi,eimai panta diki sou),me agkaliazeis k fainontai ola opws einai pragmatika..ola asimanta.emeis k oloi k ola ta alla.emeis.mazi…..

tha me sugxwreseis pote?se exw xasei teleiws?duo erwtiseis pou dn thelw na m apantiseis…giati an i apantisi einai auti pou fovamai,dn tha t’antexw..

pligwsa to monadiko anthrwpo pou eixe simasia gia mena..pou itan k einai oli mou i zwi.egw sigoura den tha me sugxwresw pote..egw tin axiza tin autokatastrofi,stin teliki tin epelexa,esu omws?

mi nomizeis oti sta lew auta epeidi se lupamai,kamia sxesi..sta lew ola auta giati dn exw to tharros na gurisw…..k as eisai ta panta mou.

eimai edw..

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eimai edw,k as mn me vlepeis,k as mn me theleis.

egw eimai edw.

telos

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to teleutaio post,pou elpizw na mn to diavaseis,afou toso entona zitises na mn se xanaenoxlisw..

k xereis kati?tha to sevastw,dikaiwma sou,to katalavainw,alla egw tha grapsw to telos.

makria sou kathe mera einai duskoli,dn antexetai..

mou leipeis toso polu,vazw ta klammata etsi,xafnika,apla giati se thumamai toso entona..skeftomai oti erxesai k me pairneis agkalia k mou les oti m’agapas,vlepw ta videakia mas k ponaw gmt,ponaw para polu.

sugxwrese me,makari na imun ekei,makari ola na itan eukola gia mas,alla kourastika..kourastika na prospathw gia na se vlepw liges wres i meres,ithela na eimai kathe stigmi mazi sou,na zoume mazi,na eisai konta mou..

skeftomai oles tis stigmes pou imastan mazi…poso teleia itan ola..k meta se thumamai na feugeis,k to sunaisthima einai aperigrapto..ligo ligo eniwtha tin kardia mou na xerizwnetai.na mn mporw na s’exw oso thelw,na zitaw perissotera,na mn mporume na ta dwsoume,k egw na eimai san trenaki tou louna park,monimws se mia katastasi eutuxias k ponou..

nai,i eutuxia itan perissoteri,itan panta ekei,alla o ponos dn palevotan.

mn mou les lpn mlkies.s’agapisa me olo mou to einai,s’evala pio psila ap’ton kathena,se latrepsa,kathe kommati sou..

auto itan.katigorise me.se xwrisa epeidi kourastika na s’agapaw toso k na mn s’exw.

mia zwi se katastasi anamonis gia to ligo,k ekana upomoni,uposeinidita,giati auto ithela,estw to ligo sou mou itan arketo gia na zisw.

twra dn exw tpt k dn me noiazei tpt.ena keno k mia mavri psuxi,auta emeinan.

tha sou grapsw ena tragoudi pou akouw 20 fores tin imera twra pia.

Αυτό που μισώ θα μου κάνει
θα έρθει να μου πει σ΄αγαπώ
στο βλέμμα του θα με ζεστάνει
και δε θα΄χω πια τί να πω

Αυτό που μισώ θα μου δείξει
θα κλάψει χωρίς να πονά
θα έρθει κοντά θα μ΄αγγίξει
θα με καταστρέψει ξανά

Πες του αν στ΄αλήθεια μ΄αγαπάει
να μη ξανάρθει
Πες του με τα λάθη δε διορθώνονται
τα λάθη
Πες του μη σκαλίζει τις πληγές
και τις ανοίγει
Πες του πως για μένα και να έρθει
θα΄χει φύγει

Αυτό που μισώ θα σκορπίσει
το ψέμα το αληθινό
θα μου ορκιστεί θα μα πείσει
θα πω ναι θα ζω στο κενό

Πες του αν στ΄αλήθεια μ΄αγαπάει
να μη ξανάρθει
Πες του με τα λάθη δε διορθώνονται
τα λάθη
Πες του μη σκαλίζει τις πληγές
και τις ανοίγει
Πες του πως για μένα και να έρθει
θα΄χει φύγει
 

auto to tragoudi me kanei na klaiw gia wres..

suggnwmi pou se pligwsa,suggnwmi pou dn sou edwsa exigiseis,dn mas axize.

s’agapaw oso tpt allo.

kali tuxi.

keno…

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Gi’auto den exw tipota allo na pw,ena megalo keno,ena mideniko,xwris esena..

mi mou milas afou dn vriskeis kanena noima se auto,mn mou dineis simasia,fuge.egw exw anagki na sou milaw,na niwthw konta sou estw k ligo,dn exw apexartithei apo sena…

esu ekei k egw edw,meri pou kapote legame spitia mas,arage mporeis na ziseis xwris na se pnigoun oi anamniseis?egw dn mporw..akoma k ta tragoudia ston upologisti mou,einai ta misa epilegmena apo sena..ti kanw edw?vlepw stous toixous ti skia sou,akouw ti fwni sou,ta vimata sou,perimenw na xupnisw me ena sou fili,ponaw.

mou leipoun ta panta apo esena,kathe mikri leptomereia,ola ta ilithia pragmata pou mou espagan ta nevra twra ta thelw apegnwsmena gia na min trelathw…arage pou paei tosi oikeiotita otan i sxesi teleiwnei?dn mporw na pistepsw oti dn eimai tpt gia sena,suggnwmi alla dn ginetai.

s’agapaw akoma,panta tha s’agapaw,ti simasia exei omws afou se pligwsa?

na prosexeis,i oxi,dn xerw,akoma k auto sou fainetai upervoliko apo mena.

ti theleis na kanw?na exafanistw?

tha prospathisw.

mou leipeis…

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exw perasei ta 100…den xerw pou pigainw..fanaria kokkina k stop moiazoun me logia apo hip-hop pou dn ta prolavainw…nai..

se thelw,ginomai pali gia sena mpourdelo…kommatia me mavrous kuklous pio katw ap’ta matia..

se kleinw mesa sto poto sta tsigara pou svinw..k dn patw to freno…

tha guriza,alla meta apo ola osa sou ekana,dn mporw na se koitaxw sta matia.

gmt.s’agapaw,eisai ta panta mou.krima pou dn to katalavaineis..se skeftomai sunexeia,paw na trelathw.

ola xalia..

na prosexeis.

poso duskolo…

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Poso duskolo itan na se dw,k na mn se parw agkalia…

na mou milas gia filous sou,gia oti na’nai,na thelw na mathw gia sena,alla ti?

na psaxnw to xeri sou katw ap’to trapezi,gi’auto to ena lepto,apla gia na niwsw oti dn eimaste xenoi..

s’agapaw gmt.

isoun polu omorfos,san pseutikos,fovomoun na se aggiksw,mipws exafanisteis.

k i teleutaia agkalia i lutrwsi..

na prosexeis…..dn se xexnaw,alla auto mallon itan to telos..tha mou leipseis polu.

kalo mina..

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tha ithela na sou pw oti se misw,oti de se skeftomai pia,oti dn mou leipeis…

alla i prwtaprilia perase k emena dn mou aresoun ta psemmata..

dn uparxei mera pou na mn se skeftw,isws kai wra twra pou to skeftomai..simera se kapoia fasi apolutis varemaras stin douleia,koitaga ap’exw ton kosmo na pernaei,evlepa zeugaria na kratiountai agkalia k ponousa para polu..psuxika k swmatika…to stomaxi mou pia ponaei se kathimerini vasi..

osa mnmata k an mou stelneis,egw tha pistevw oti eisai apla thumwmenos..nai,se apogoiteusa alla mn akurwneis se parakalw ola auta pou zisame,mn to kaneis auto gmt.dn xexnaw toso eukola,dn mou ferthikes asxima,tpt apo ola osa les dn exoun ginei..

apla eixa anagki na meinw moni mou..toso kako einai?kourastika,oxi apo sena,apo mena..ti na pw..ti na exigisw.suggnwmi gia ola.

pali edw…

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Den thelw na se pligwnw k na pligwnomai..

dn thelw na zoume etsi,se parakalw..

kourastika,einai ola toso adeia xwris esena..

mn fugeis alla k mn guriseis….egwistiko e?

dn xerw ti na kanw pleon,thelw na eisai kala alla xerw oti me auto pou mas ekana tha ponas gia kairo akoma..

to mono pou mporw na sou pw einai oti k egw tha ponaw..

alla pistepse me,an akoma m’agapas,an akoma noiazesai,eixa anagki na meinw moni..to exw akomi anagki,oxi gia na perasw kala,alla gia na vrw ton eauto mou…k opws katalavaineis me to xwrismo auto katafera na ton xasw prwta..

twra mazevw ta kommatia mou,k einai duskolo,k epwduno..koitazw pisw auta pou katestrepsa k xerw oti einai trelo…to mono pou mporw na pw me sigouria einai oti akousa to enstikto mou pou elege oti kati dn me ekane na niwthw kala..

an auto einai elleipsi i meiwsi erwta dn xerw..dn exw vrei akri akoma,isws na mn thelw..

se agapaw…na prosexeis..

(mia prwin neraida)

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Tis meres pou dn doulevw exei ginei akoma pio duskolo…

dn mporw na kanw tpt gia na stamatisw na se skeftomai,mataia prospathw na gemisw tis wres mou,mataia ola.k mou leipeis toso polu gamwto.

xerw oti einai o uperoxos o kosmos,k nomiza oti ta pigaina kala,alla thelw na klapsw twra..(metafrasi apo to parakatw tragoudi)..

koimamai 5-6 to prwi k xupnaw mesimeri i kai apogeuma…dn tha anexosoun ena tetoio programma,to xerw,alla dn mporw alliws.dn mporw allo.

kalinuxta xwtiko mou..

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